For couples
Couples therapy — find your way back to each other
Every relationship meets headwinds. Couples therapy gives you a safe space where you are both heard — and concrete tools to understand each other, handle the conflicts and rediscover closeness. With experienced English-speaking therapists, at all our offices and online.
All offices and online · Late afternoons possible · Typically 4–8 sessions over 2–4 months
What is couples therapy?
A space where you are both understood
Couples therapy is a series of structured sessions with the two of you and a specialised couples therapist. The therapist’s most important task is to create a process in which you both feel understood — and both feel motivated to take ownership of the changes you want.
There is no judge in the room: the sessions are not about who is right. In a game of "right and wrong" there is always a winner and a loser — and that is no caring route to a loving relationship. Instead, we explore how your patterns actually work in relation to the relationship you want.
Couples therapy cannot promise you a relationship without conflicts and disagreements — that does not exist. But it can equip you to handle them in a way that brings you closer together instead of further apart.
What you can work on
You decide what goes on the table
You can bring up whatever issue you are experiencing — and you do not need to agree on what the problem is. The topics often turn out to be connected: strained communication affects intimacy, and vice versa.
Communication
When conversations go in circles, turn into silence or end up in the same place every time — learn to speak and listen so that you actually reach each other.
Intimacy and sex
Closeness, desire and touch are closely tied to the rest of the relationship. A safe space for a topic that can be hard to bring up on your own.
Infidelity and trust
After a breach of trust, both partners need structure and care — whether the goal is to rebuild or to gain clarity.
Emotions and values
What matters to you — individually and together? Clarifying emotions and values gives the changes direction.
Children and family life
A growing family, parenting, blended families, life as an expat family and everyday logistics — topics where two backgrounds must find one shared path.
Clarification
The sessions can also be used to clarify whether you both have the strength and desire to continue — and if not, to part amicably, with understanding and acceptance.
Methods and tools
Different tools — for the two of you
There are many therapeutic methods for structuring couples sessions — including emotionally focused couples therapy (the emotions and attachment behind the conflict), the Gottman method (the couple’s concrete patterns and the "poisons" in their communication), imago therapy (understanding each other’s background) and ACT (values and action).
Broadly, the methods can be divided into process-oriented (such as ACT) and content-oriented (such as Gottman). An experienced couples therapist masters several of them — and switches tools according to what your situation calls for: the emotions, the intimacy, the communication or the trust.
Whatever the method, it usually includes exercises and psychoeducation: the exercises turn the insights into real changes in your life together, and the psychoeducation gives you a shared understanding of the universal human processes that create — and can change — habits.
How it works
Change starts in the first session
1
The first session
We explore your motivation and the causes of the difficulties — and you typically take the first tools home with you from this very first session.
2
One at a time
Questions are put to one partner at a time, and agreement is not expected. Typical questions: What are you hoping to get out of the sessions? What do you see as your own part in the conflicts?
3
Exercises at home
Tools and new routines are agreed together and tried out with curiosity and experimentation between sessions — where the relationship is actually lived.
4
Lasting habits
The greatest insight often comes in the first few sessions; after that, it is about holding on to the helpful habits and spreading them to the rest of the relationship.
Good to know
Questions couples often ask us
Does couples therapy work?
Yes — there is good evidence that couples therapy helps both partners towards a more meaningful life when both are motivated. The outcome depends on the therapist’s process and your readiness for change. If you are unsure whether couples therapy is right for the two of you, this article can help you decide.
What if my partner doesn’t want to come?
Without both partners, couples therapy is not possible — but individual therapy can help you handle the difficulties and your own development, even when the relationship cannot be worked on together.
Does couples therapy work online?
Yes — we have good experience with video-based couples therapy. You can sit in front of the same screen or in different locations with a screen each. If possible, we recommend meeting in person at some point during the course — it can offer new insight into how you are together when we meet face to face.
Video (in Danish): Holidays and relationships — it is often easier to see what is wrong than what we can do about it.
AI couples therapy - Lovespiel.com
Start the conversation at home with Lovespiel. It is an affordable way to try out simple tools for handling the challenges in your relationship. Try the Lovespiel AI couples therapist online here →
Experienced couples therapists
Meet our couples therapists
Max B Pedersen
Psychologist, specialist, PhD
Lyngby · Copenhagen · Frederikssund
GP referral: Yes (Frederikssund & online)
Languages: Danish · English
Thomas Kierulff
Psychotherapist MPF, MSc
Jennifer Adinolfi
Psychologist & psychotherapist, MA
Pilar Lozada
Psychologist
L. Anna Røpke
Licensed psychologist · specialist
Win-win
Couples therapy without losers
Couples therapy only works when you both feel you are "winning" — when the sessions are helpful for each of you. That is why goals and responsibilities are defined from your individual wishes, and together we explore how to handle the barriers. It is a shared responsibility, a shared effort — and a shared reward.
See also the prices for couples therapy (in Danish).
For professionals
We offer courses, supervision and workshops in couples therapy — with concrete exercises for your own consulting room. Contact us to hear more.
Contact
Book couples therapy
Write a few words about what you need — we will match you with an experienced couples therapist and get back to you within 24 hours. You are also welcome to call +45 4245-4600.